Here we work on the infra-representational object linking distinguished at the level of differentiated representations of the object : how to be oneself ? To be oneself, is it necessary both to be like the other and different from the other ? This contradiction inherent to development, which does such violence to the adolescent, can only be thought of after the fact. It is because he could accept to be fed by others that he can detach himself from them and feel more himself. Working on the quality of narcissistic bases, the author will use models of the attachment of auto-eroticism in its function of libidinally reinvesting control. It is a dialectic between internal resources and recourse to the peceptivo-motor external world, the purpose of which is developmental, especially through the counter-investment of internal reality.